Rants — August 13, 2015 at 17:00

In my travels I regularly come across some religious stupidity ruining shit for other people.  If it isn’t the way women’s ankles offend the gods, then it is the way someone refuses to fast during Ramadan, or the way mountain gods cry because I decided to work on my ass tan…  Well, apparently Malaysia’s “Holy Mountain” stupidity has spilled to the USA!!!   You probably engaged in vigorous facepalming over the incredibly funny story of naked backpackers in Borneo supposedly angering mountain spirits which in turn decided to fuck up local population by triggering an earthquake.  In that case, millions of sad pandas around the world cried for the ENORMOUS INANIMATE OBJECT that is Mount Kinabalu, and “her” hurt feelings… Well, now a bunch of assholes are protesting the construction of a massive telescope on Hawaii’s tallest mountain, the 4,205 metre high (13,796 ft) summit of Mauna Kea, which is also home to some incredibly sensitive Skymonkee…

Mauna Kea

Mauna Kea

Here is the background:  Mauna Kea’s summit, being very high, and very far away from both air pollution as well as light pollution, is one of the best sites in the world for astronomical observation.  As a result, the summit is home to 13 observation facilities, each funded by as many as 11 countries.  There are telescopes operating in the infrared as well as visible spectrum (nine of them), three operating in sub-millimeter spectrum, and one radio telescope.  The facilities operate mirrors and dishes ranging in size from just under one metre, to 25 metres (3 to 82 ft).  Long story short, a lot of very smart people are doing a lot of very smart things up there.

An artist's rendition of the Thirty Metre Telescope at Manua Kea

An artist’s rendition of the Thirty Metre Telescope at Mauna Kea

The controversial 14th facility on Mauna Kea is known as the Thirty Meter Telescope (or TMT) equipped with an enormous reflecting telescope which, due to its immense power and optimal observing conditions on top of that mountain would enable researchers to conduct studies which are unfeasible with current instruments.  The TMT will be one of the world’s largest telescopes, and certain one of the highest, and as such has the government-level support from several nations, including US, Canada, China, India, and Japan.

It's funny how the Skymonkee is so selective, that he lives on Mauna Kea, instead of any of those other amazing places in the universe...

It’s funny how the Skymonkee is so selective, that he lives on Mauna Kea, instead of any of those other amazing places in the universe…

Unfortunately, the land that has been selected for the construction of the TMT is “sacred” to native Hawaiians.  A “Save Mauna Kea” movement believes this development to be sacrilegious, while native Hawaiian non-profit groups such as Kahea also oppose development for “cultural and religious reasons”.  Apparently, in Hawaiian mythology, all the peaks of Hawaii are sacred, with Mauna Kea being the most sacred of all.  An ancient law allowed only high-ranking priests to visit the peak to do their bullshit voodoo magic, nobody else.  So, while this telescope project would allow scientists to get an unprecedented look at the sky and allow the scientific community to learn ever more about what is going on out there in the universe, well beyond some mythical all-seeing monkey that created the universe and now resides on a mountaintop and hates telescopes, these protests are threatening this phenomenal development.  Idiots have been protesting since 2014, but they are particularly stunning NOW, in the summer of 2015, right after NASA has sent a probe to photograph Pluto and Earth got a selfie with the Moon… Seriously, people, what has your sky monkey done for advancement of knowledge?

These idiots are protesting... a telescope.  Luckily, they are getting arrested for being idiots.

These idiots are protesting… a telescope. Luckily, they are getting arrested for being idiots.

This bunch of idiot Harrypotterites are nothing more than a handbrake on human progress.  They pack all the intellectual power of a horde of antivaxxers, coupled with the seemingly legitimate immunity of religious bullshit.  Well, so sorry to be the bringer of bad news, but on this ever-shrinking planet which puts more people face-to-face with each other, there is less and less space for your superstitious bullshit.  We need logic and reason, not centuries-old stories based on great-grandpa’s intoxicated musings.  Not to mention that MOUNTAINS ARE NOT TEMPLES.  Neither are the oceans, nor rivers, no forests, meadows, ponds, lakes, and deserts.  You need to treat the planet with respect, but you do not get to claim entire geological features as “yours” and “holy” at the cost of scientific advancement.  Guess what, you can still go up there and do your retarded rain dance if you wish, just do it between the telescopes, not ON them.

Seriously, can you be any more dramatic about this whole thing?

Seriously, can you be any more dramatic about this whole thing?

And remember this anti-science stance of yours when you are sitting on a Boeing, moving 650 miles per hour, or in front of your computer, reading this…  Your sky monkey didn’t get you these awesome things; science, logic, and reason did.  And when in 5-10-15 years you develop colon cancer, do not go to a modern hospital, rather, go and see your local shaman.  If you devote so much time to keeping the world retarded, then you do not get to have the cake and eat it too…

I guess you CAN be more dramatic...  Newsflash: A mountain is not a temple

I guess you CAN be more dramatic… Newsflash: A mountain is not a temple.  And no one is BULLDOZING Mauna Kea, you bunch of mouth-breathing dickheads.  It’s a telescope, not a thermonuclear test…

Haha…  Well, here is one more pic, for good measure…

 

"Worship my mountain fuck my lungs.  I love being blissfully ignorant of things that matter and get overly excited about stupid shit that doesn't."

“Worship my mountain fuck my lungs. I love being blissfully ignorant of things that matter and get overly excited about stupid shit that doesn’t.”

 

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