Rants — January 14, 2012 at 12:20

“Halloween with Hitler” – A rant about humour (and lack of it…)

This was a piece I wrote on my Facebook page a few years ago…It is actually quite relevant to Monkeetime.com because I get a regular dose of hate mail from people who don’t appreciate my stupid Nazi jokes in my videos.  Written day after Halloween…


Every year at about this time (Halloween, for those of you living in Saudi Arabia where fun is strictly forbidden, so you didn’t know) a measure of controversy re-emerges onto the scene after someone you know, or a friend of a friend, or some random person (that you found while Facebook-stalking the girl who keeps on not going out with you) dresses up as…  yes…  the man with a little moustache. And I don’t mean Charlie Chaplin, though it is an easy emergency bailout for the subject when hounded by his apparently humourless Saudi Arabian friends.

Before I continue: if you are one of these whinging “can dress up as anything but NOT THAT” people, then I strongly recommend you dont read on unless you made sure you have an ample supply of Lysol so you can douche out the sand trapped in your vagina, because surely you will get irritated.

There is nothing inherently wrong with dressing up as Hitler.  In fact, for Halloween we purposely choose one from a rotisserie of unsavoury characters, precisely because they are history’s “naughties”.  If you have any hope of going to that party and coming back next morning with a “I got laid” smile splashed on your face, you better look fucking hot, have a great personality, or go dressed as Darth Vader, Hitler, Stalin, or Osama Bin Laden.  Leave the “I’m  a pay-phone!” look to your 6-year-old nephew, or just stay home…

Tired of his "I'm a payphone!" costume, Prince Harry stirs up a shit-storm...

Now, I dug around and sure enough there are plenty of photos on Facebook together with comments such as “OMG, horrible”, “Think of the children” and “how offensive!”.

Well, if these are your comments, then you need to STFU (that’s French for SHUT THE FUCK UP), because every time you dress up your 7 year old as a Navy Seal or Evil Nurse there will be someone in the world offended by this.  Navy Seals aren’t known for distributing hugs in Iraq, and I am sure relatives of people killed by evil nurses would also not find it amusing.

“But Hitler killed so many!!!” says the shocked milf from Idaho

Sure, but the Korean kid dressed as Hitler didn’t!

Last year a friend of mine came in as Genghis Khan, decked out in a bitching costume made of shiny steel, thick leather, and real horse hair.  Nobody mentioned any of the multitude of dead people left in the wake of the Mongol expansion through Asia.

And they shouldn’t.  You and your girlfriend should be able to come in as the goddamn Twin Towers, with two 767’s firmly embedded somewhere near where your neck is, and it should be ok!

You know why?  Because it is Halloween, and your costumes are supposed to be scary and unusual and hopefully get you laid.

“But after Halloween, you burn them right?  I mean, you wouldn’t wear this after, would you?” says the confused plumber from Manitoba.

Hmmm…  If you want to be the weirdo who celebrates Halloween multiple times a year (me!) then go for it.  Just know that after Halloween nobody will reap the sexual benefits of the costume. (Unless you are in a Furry Club that is.)

The author and friend doing a Nazi macarena while on a boat in Thailand.

Anywho.  Jokedy writing aside, there is a bigger issue at work here.

People pay way too much attention to imagery, and not nearly enough to rhetoric and action. Everyone freaks out about the Nazi uniforms and Mein Kampf, but not too many bat an eye about the recent shift towards right-wing politics in Europe, and the decades-old jingoism of the U.S. government.  Add to this mix the emerging Chinese nationalism and Indian fascism and we are far beyond the evils of Jimmy’s costume.

The particular breed of hysteria associated with Nazi stuff is especially vexing to me.  In Germany you will serve a jail term for denying the Holocaust or simply owning a copy of the Mein Kampf.

This is so fucking ridiculous in a country that calls itself a democracy!

Anyone should be able to deny any historical fact, and anyone should simply be allowed to disagree with them. For fuck’s sake, North America is full of people who deny evolution!  Should they be locked up? Or should we talk about it?  Jail terms for book ownership?  How would that be different from North Korea, China, and… wait for it… NAZI GERMANY!?

A Taiwanese kid dressed as Hitler. I love Halloween!


Ok… inhale… chill… good.

Hitler didn’t go around personally killing 30 million people around the world.  Neither did Stalin, Mao, Nixon, or George W. Bush.  Their henchmen did it for them. In Hitler’s case these henchmen were the ordinary citizens of Germany and neighbouring countries, regular people who let one angry psychopath do all the thinking for them and they simply did the acting.  This shit is now 65 years behind us, but rest assured, it will repeat itself if people don’t start thinking about their opinions and social taboos regarding insignificant actions, and stop ignoring dangerous antidemocratic rhetoric and legislation.

Anyways, I’m off to the costume party.





Millions dead... Totally ok...

Milllions dead... Totally inappropriate!!!


  1. LOL Cool post i love your new website!
    I would like to dress up as Hitler or Stalin on a halloween party but i don’t want people to hate me for that reason for the rest of my life. well, maybe they won’t there is only one way the find out…..
    Anyway is there any country that sells hitler costumes or do you need to make it yourself?

  2. Actually my high shocol was also the one who did the sports day under the concept of Nazi, which left some of my foreign English teachers pretty stunned when they saw the symbol.

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