Hate Mail — August 26, 2013 at 08:13

Brunei Hate Mail!

Brunei Hatemail

 

My video Brunei | Tattered and Brainwashed was a hit.  It brought in 10,000 hits in its first week online, and it was wildly popular in Brunei itself.  Upon a closer examination, however, it was revealed that the video was HATED in Brunei, and passed around from one angry viewer to the next.  Here is a page detailing my stance on the country and the sultan, but people hate this opinion of mine.  I couldn’t care less, however, because any publicity is good publicity.  In any case, here is a lovely collection of the select angry messages I have received from the lobotomized citizens of Brunei.  I am aware that most of these are likely to be trolls, typing from behind the hijab of anonymity, but it is never-the-less interesting to see how small people think.

Enjoy.

"Why u come?"

The sultan has indeed done so much…  Built a mosque… Couple of hospitals… And a billion dollar palace for himself.  Poor little sultan.  We should probably have a fundraiser.  A bake sale. Gonna need to sell a lot of cheesecakes though, because the sultan’s fleet of yachts (Tit 1 and Tit 2) need some work in the dry dock, and also the 747 is due for an annual check. So hard to be a sultan these days…  So hard… So hard…

 

Hyperthyroid, obviously...

Seriously.  This is a capital city of a nation, a proud one, apparently, and a little bitchy video about a bus totally destabilizes Nadya Zulkifli’s day.  Nadya needs a hobby.  Should start baking cheesecakes for the sultan’s upcoming fundraiser bake sale.  Think about it, every 12 cakes buy a new set of boobie tassles  for the royal hookers.  Oh, the Paradise…

Allah is angry...

Oh, no. A fatwa. I can handle insults, but I am allergic to fatwas. They really mess with my arythmia and my notgiveashitosis…

This next one is not exactly hate mail, in fact, it was quite balanced, but the prediction contained therein was quite funny. Have a look!

Oh, nooooooo!!!!!

 

Not only did I not lose subscribers, I actually started gaining them at a significantly higher rate.  As I type this, seven days have passed, and my daily subscriptions are 4 times higher than usual. It seems that people who watch my stuff actually watch it because it is direct, no bullshit communication.  Sort of the opposite of Fox News.

The, there is the other side of the spectrum. This is the good stuff, right here:

Tourette's Syndrome...

 

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen. Tourette’s Syndrome and typing should not be mixed. Ever. Also, apparently I am an American, which is awesome. Much bigger job pool, and they add extra pages in the passport when you run out. And I regularly run out. WIkkiiiiiidddd!!!!  :-)

Seems like Youtube user si afilia can’t stop typing stupid shit. Check out this random gem:

"Suck a Jew's dick!!!"

 

That’s right.  It always comes down to sucking a Jew’s dick.

 

Kinky stuff...

So much beating and shitting being planned, you’d think this is some sort of a German scheisse/S&M party, not a place with a mosque… Or… WTF goes on in that off-limits mosque???

It all really comes down to brainwashing. And A LOT of it.  People in Brunei seem to not even have the slightest clue that a single person owning the country (and them) is simply unacceptable in 2013.  1313, yes. Today, NO.  But they love it. The sultan is seen as a loving father figure (think North Korea’s Dear Leader!), and he is such an awesome guy, he gives us $500 dollars, yay!  Idiots.  Look at this exchange:

A responsible pet owner...

Anywho, there is also plenty of Fan Mail, and that sort of restores faith in humanity.

 

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